A WINDOW IN
When I watch them
at the window opposite I forgot all my loneliness and wretchedness. Once, I
was the merry housewife of a happy house as well. I had a compassionate husband
with a heart beating with love, and a beloved child. However, an evil disease
stole them from me. And now I am all alone. When watching the lives of the new
tenants moved to the flat in the opposite apartment house, my dark, deep, suffocating
loneliness as though lessens. They don't feel the need for closing their broad
windows facing my house with a balcony that no one go outs and with shutters
always half closed.
For months I feel
warmth in my heart. It is as if I have reached the continuation of my life that
has darkened years ago. They are a family consisting of a young man, a beautiful
woman and a little child who seems to be about five years old.
The man is tall,
delicate and has black hair; the woman is blonde, has light eyes and a beautiful
In the mornings
after the young man kissed his wife and child and went to his office, the mother
was placing a small cane chair in the small balcony of their room and sitting
her daughter on it and putting a great many toys before her. And she was saying:
- "My sweet
Yildiz!… Play like a good child, ok!"
And the little
girl was answering with a chirping sound:
- "And you'll
make housework, mummy, is it so? I'll play quietly…"
The young woman
was touching her lips on her daughter's golden hair and leaving the balcony,
and starting housework.
The child was singing
songs and playing with her dolls, and from time to time calling as:
And the young woman
(whom I saw through the open window of the small kitchen) was responding her:
- "Yes, honey…"
Last morning the
doorkeeper woman who always helped my housework said:
those who moved into the opposite apartment house have called me, and I went.
My! What a pleasant lady… She asks with request to whom she will employ in payment
for wage. She has laundry. Moreover the house was to be cleaned. She asked me
to come once a month. Sure I would. She talks so sweetly. If you had seen that
little girl closely, you would love her… She became familiar with me immediately.
She speaks in happy tones. Her father is said to be working in a bank, and both
have no relatives. The woman is said to have worked formerly in a bank, as well.
But after the child she has given up working. She said, now they were just barely
managing ends meet, but still they were pleased. I did the laundry. Cleaned
out the house. Her husband came towards evening. He is amiable as well like
his wife. May God protect them, their love!"
Days and months
passed watching them. The young woman was occupied with her housework and child.
And the man was going regularly to the bank. So passed spring and summer, and
then came winter.
This year the winter
came with rains. And then suddenly turned into snow. There was something unusual
at the opposite house. The man was not going to his work.
woman has come in the morning.
- "Ah, Madam!
Words fail me! Do you know what happened to them! The young man is taken ill,
and an epidemic to boot… They say fever… His wife is crazy about… She doesn't
worry about herself. She says she was distressed about her child. Should we
take the child here…"
I got up and wrote
a letter to my young neighbor. I asked her not to get distressed and send the
child to me as if putting her in the care of a grandmother, that I would take
great interest in her. An hour later the doorkeeper woman brought little Yildiz
with a bag of clothes. The young woman has sent a message besides: "Dear
Madam. My husband is lying down of typhoid. His body is weak. He needs care.
I entrust my daughter to you. May God protect you! I kiss your hands with respect.
Little Yildiz is
a wonderful child. Her eyes are extraordinarily beautiful. They are bright and
crystal-clear blue. Intelligence is seen in her eyes.
She, looking with
her beautiful eyes to mine, stayed facing me.
- "My mother
asked me to thank you. If there weren't you, my mother could not take care of
my father. Until he recovers I will be your guest, but not trouble you and be
Then she bent and
kissed my hand. Her hair was like a crown made of golden curls; I had never
seen such a beautiful child before.
I put my arm's
around her and embraced her:
I said; "I am like a grandmother for you. You should call me grandma…"
She, immersed in
deep thoughts, looked at my face in great detail:
- "In fact
I didn't have a grandmother, she said."
I gave her those
old valuable toys. She sat down beside the porcelain stove on a down cushion.
She began to play games talking and singing by herself, as if playing in the
balcony of her house in spring.
My eyes are at
the opposite windows. A doctor comes twice a day. That table in the midst of
the room turned into a pharmacy shop-window. It is covered with drugs.
And Yildiz's mother
has turned into a nurse's aide. She sometimes comes to the window and looks
opposite to us. Her eyes resembling those of Yildiz are always sad.
woman informs me about the patient. His state is rather serious. I stay awake
all night long like Yildiz's mother. I'm not able to fall asleep. I pray God
for the happiness of this small family.
But if the prayers
had any effect on fate, I should have a grandchild like Yildiz.
It was snowing.
Yildiz was watching the stars through the window. Sound of a siren has been
heard at a distance.
woman who was kneeled down next to the door said:
I turned her my
eyes full of tears, she, with signs, asked me to take Yildiz from the window.
- "It comes
to take him away," she added.
honey," I said. "Would you burn those calendar pages in the stove?"
She turned cheerfully:
- "Yes, grandma!"
She has become
familiar with me within the last twenty days. I had tried with all my power
for her to enjoy all moments.
I got the calendar
from the wall and gave her. Little girl tore off her future dark days and placed
them into the stove, thus, forgot watching the snowflakes that she resembled
The white car with
sirens took the young man brought down in stretcher and her wife, and went away.
The opposite window
in light was dark now. Should a little of their light has not warmed me, this
disaster would become my own misery.
Days were passing.
As Yildiz was asking her mother and father I was telling all kinds of lies to
One morning the
young woman suddenly came. Her face was of the color of death, and eyes were
swollen and bloodshot. I read the disaster from her eyes. My body, my soul was
as if dumbfounded. The mother approached. Kneeled down and embraced her daughter
who rushed into her arms.
My tears overflowed
from my soul were falling down on my cheeks.
They stayed embraced
for moments. When the little girl asked:
- " Mummy,
is my father recovered?"
The young woman's
arms got loose. She seemed to keep it all to herself. She tried to smile and
He is not recovered yet. They took him to Europe. He will come a few months
- "But mummy,
I miss him so much. How will I stand for months!"
The young woman
embraced her daughter once more:
- "I will
be with you Yildiz … I will…"
Then turned to
- "I don't
know how to thank you…"
- "My daughter!"
I said, "I owe you. Your beautiful daughter, in spite of all my sorrows,
has lived me bright days. Daughter, do you know what I think now?"
She was waiting,
her faded eyes looking at mine.
"I am used
to the girl, and she is used to me as well. She would love me this much if I
were her full grandmother… Separation from her will be a second disaster for
me… Let be not separate… Let me be your mother and her grandma…"
A light shined
in her blue eyes. And then she set free her tears. She rushed into my arms:
- Ooh mother!…
My heart burning
with the longing for a daughter was relieved.
- "My daughter!…"